Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
send nudes
from the living room?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
