I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
