So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
