So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
