finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
