why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
