yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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