You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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