arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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