im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
