whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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