You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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