just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
