im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
