i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
