They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
