Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
