found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
