We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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