the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I will pee on everything he values.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
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