I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
