Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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