I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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