I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
