Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
