ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Randomize
