WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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