I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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