Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
