Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
My life is pants optional.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
