i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
