hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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