You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
