Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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