i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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