I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
did i walk over a car last night?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
