Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
