Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
