her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
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