I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I have post one night stand depression
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