I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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