I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
