Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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