so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
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