So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
