How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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