Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
