the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
