we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
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