i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
