You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
