ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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