IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
